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Writing essays for an exam demands that you fulfil a number of criteria, no matter which exam it is, these criteria remain the same. It is wise to become familiar with the criteria so that you can assess your own written work.
Scores
Excellent - 6 Demonstrates clear competence in writing both in content and structure, though there may still be occasional errors.
To achieve this score you should:
- address the task effectively,
- organise and develop your writing well,
- use appropriate supporting arguments and examples,
- display good linguistic ability,
- use appropriate structure and vocabulary.
Very Good - 5 Demonstrates competence in writing both in content and structure, though there are occasional errors.
To achieve this score you should:
- address some parts of the task more effectively than others,
- generally organise and develop your writing well,
- use some supporting arguments and examples,
- display linguistic ability,
- use some structure and a range of vocabulary.
Good - 4 Demonstrates some competence in writing both in content and structure.
To achieve this score you should:
- address some parts of the task,
- be fairly organised and developed,
- use some supporting arguments and examples,
- display reasonable but possibly inconsistent linguistic ability,
- try to avoid errors that can obscure meaning.
Average - 3 Demonstrates some developing competence in writing but content and structure are weak.
To achieve this score would show:
- poor organisation and development,
- irrelevant or no supporting arguments and examples,
- a lack of linguistic ability,
- use of some poor structures and a limited vocabulary.
Below Average - 2 Suggests incompetence in writing.
To achieve this score would show:
- serious disorganisation and underdevelopment,
- little or no detail or irrelevant details,
- a serious lack of linguistic ability and focus,
- use of poor structures and a limited vocabulary.
Poor - 1 Demonstrates incompetence in writing.
To achieve this score would show:
- incoherence,
- underdevelopment,
- serious writing errors
It is advisable to practice writing essays for exams to practice both the style of essay writing, as well as becoming familiar with the time constraints that would be imposed upon you. It is also important to assess your own work so that you can improve your writing and correct any errors.
Task 1
Below are some students’ responses to the following exam style question, practice scoring them:
Air travel is increasingly available to people around the world, yet the environment stands to suffer from the carbon emissions caused by this increase. Some people have suggested raising the cost of air travel to limit the amount of air traffic; others say that this would put the less wealthy at a disadvantage. State your opinion.
Essay A
World is big place we can explor and look at. This can be for all to travel.
I am come from Japan and in my city have many pollutions. No matter if pollutions come from cars or planes we need travel. In my country we have money for to travel and many people like to see outside countrys, me too I like travelling and to learn new cultures but some cultures don’t have the money and only have to stay at home. When I come from Japan I always want to use a plane because I’m see sick and that’s why.
really, pollutions are a problem and I don’t want to see my children that can’t travel because of pollutions and no money. For that I think we should all be too care full of our planet and try to make it more fair. Anyway, if only richs travel the poors would have to look after the world on our own and we should all have to do that together.
Finally I want to say that if we want to take a plane and fly we can put a tree in the ground to make the balance of the carbon so it won’t be a problem.
Essay B
Nowadays everybody is travelling by airplanes, especially young people. In the other hand young people like to look after the enviroment so we have to be careful with what we are doing.
Firstly I would like to say that plane travels are a great way for everybody to see the world and meet new people, study, business and things like that and we can learn too much. Secondly there is many goods and things that will be moved around the world by planes so that we can have those things in almost places. If we pay more for tickets for the planes we can be sure that the planes are good and won’t make so much pollution.
In the other hand we should see that we can learn too much from the internet and many people doing business in the internet so that they don’t need to travel and spend money and injure the enviroment. And sometimes we don’t want to eat things like only Mc Donalds and Coke and have some differences in the things that we can but around the worl instead of it all the same. The problem with more expensive tickets is that not almost people can fly and share things.
For me I am luck that I live in a big city where I can choose to get anythings I want if I stay here or I can find work to pay for the tickets if I need to travel. For people who can’t pay the tickets I think it’s better to stay home and use the internet. Thay way we don’t injure the environment.
Essay C
Pepole always talking about the invironment and saying ‘what can we do?’ and not giving answers. If we decide that it will be more expensif to travel on a plane we can say that not as many people will be use that plane and the pollution will be less too. The plane isn’t the only way we can travel and they are very bad for the invironment so we better not use it or later the world will have big problems. If nobody stays in their country there will be a big mix up and everybody will be lost, so it’s better to stay in your country and use the things that we have around us.
In another way we maybe need to travel and see other people and countrys but it will be difficult for the languiage and speaking to people and missing your home. This way will be expensive too and it’s difficult. Also you will be using more pollution because the plane makes too much pollution and if everybody travels like this the problem will be bigger.
The good of travel is that we can learn and enjoy too much and that is important in the life. But if you ask my opinion I would like to stay home.
Essay D
Some people think that it would be a good idea to tax flights or increase the price of air travel in some way to discourage the increasing number of flights. Others feel that this would only exclude less wealthy travellers. Both points of view have advantages and disadvantages.
From the environment point of view, the more we can do to reduce carbon emissions, the better. We are already seeing signs of climate changes and unless we do something about it we are going to face big problems. The problem is that it is not just aeroplanes that pollution the environment and we need to look at the other causes of the greenhouse effect. One of the biggest causes of pollution is emissions from businesses and I think that it would be a good idea to look at how they can help solve the problem. Maybe they could pay a higher price to move their products by aeroplane to help make a balance.
In the point of view of the individual person, a higher ticket price would only discourage those who can least afford to fly. This would reduce the number of ‘frequent flyers’ very little as most people who fly regularly do it for business and usually buy expensive ‘business class’ tickets. For everybody else with less money it would mean losing their one overseas holiday a year. I think that if we plant a tree every time we fly, we can help to reduce these problems.
In conclusion, I think that it is better to balance our pollution from flights by planting a tree and to look at the organisations who make money from pollution for a more effective solution.
Essay E
I like the blanes and to flying. If you want fly just you can get on a blane and go and nefer mind about the money just pay that. Another thing is it is very expansive. and in my country the car is vary cheep and everyone have car for driving or anything you want. Next thing is some people vary afrid to flying and get nervous and don’t want to get on blane because of this. For this people I would like to say that you don’t have to be afrid because the blane is vary safety and you can be more danger in car so don’t worry for the blane. In the end it is better if you want to fly a blane for a long time but if you just going to your uncle house you can just go by walking or anything.
Essay F
Nowadays environment is our biggest worry and it is my believe that we should all do our best to protect the environment. The use of aeroplanes for short flights is an issue that brings more heat than light and here I will tell you why.
Aeroplanes use many oil and and cause pollution as well as emitting green house gasses. Nowadays there are so many aeroplanes and flights that we are putting so much pollution in the atmusfere that we must really think about how much we are flying. Secondly, airports take up a lot of land and new airports are building all the time, so it’s not just the atmusfere we polluting but the land too. Then there is the problem of all the workers of the airport who will often drive to their working place. The biggest people who fly are the buisiness men and they don’t mind paying to the tax because they can get it back at the end of the year so higher prices won’t stop them.
On the other side, many other forms of transport use so much oil and so it’s the same as the aeroplanes. And we are able to try to plant a tree to off set the pollution that we make from flying. Also, there are more cities than there are airports but we cant stop the progress so people will always drive to work. Most people only fly on an aeroplane only fly one time a year to go on vacation and so it’s not too much, specially if we can plant the tree.
In the end I think that it would not change anything to put up higher the price of the aeroplanes because buisinesses would just pay the more and ordinary people can just plant a tree.
Answers
Essay A: Score 2
The writer has answered the question in part, but this piece lacks organization and enough development of the supporting points. The amount of mistakes in usage and structure greatly distracts from the content. Vocabulary is also very basic, repetitive and often used wrongly in the context of the question.
Essay B: Score 4
This piece has more distinct ideas than Essay C. There are topic sentences and transition devices to introduce and link supporting ideas. However, the main points need more detail. The readers may expect ideas to be more developed. The length will be an important factor in receiving a desired score. Mistakes in structure are clear, and the conclusion gives details that are not relevant, which lessens the coherence.
Essay C: Score 3
This essay demonstrates some intention to organize the main ideas, but topic sentences are absent and the points are not fully developed or introduced by appropriate transitions. The conclusion offers information about the benefits of travel, with only one sentence giving the opinion of the author. Also, there are many mistakes in usage and structure. While it is possible to comprehend the meaning, it suffers from lack of vocabulary and language structure.
Essay D: Score 6
This essay is well organized using points of comparison for the supporters of air travel tax and those against. A number of points are examined, and there is good use of supporting arguements and examples. A few mistakes occur with structure, but the vocabulary is well chosen and covers a wide scope. The general impression given by this essay is that it is well organized and developed, and that the writer clearly expresses their point of view in the conclusion.
Essay E: Score 1
Clearly the task was not understood by the author of this essay. Perhaps the writer misinterpreted the idea of "travel taxes". The simplicity of the statements and lack of development of the ideas show that this student was prepared enough to write a more complex essay.
Essay F: Score 5
This essay indicates clear planning, uses some transitions to connect ideas and provides examples to support main ideas. While there are several mistakes in structure and vocabulary, they don't impede the flow of the essay. For this essay to receive a higher score more points should be raised and the conclusion should be developed more fully.
Task 2
Write an essay based on the following question and exchange it with a partner for assessment.
In some cultures it is traditional for the father of a family to go out to work while the mother remains at home with the responsibility of housekeeping. Nowadays the balance is changing and more and more we see women taking the role of the principle earner.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this departure from the traditional family?
